EXCERPTS from "Who Cut the Cheese?"

From the Introduction by Kenneth Bleucheese:

"As a professional counselor in Failure Management Skills, I've told this Cheese story hundreds of times to groups all over the world. The response is always gratifying - especially in those countries that speak English. Though it's almost impossible to believe, this simple Cheese story is responsible for getting people better jobs, helping them lose weight, and growing thick lustrous hair on bald heads.

What's more, this Cheese story has been credited with healing lepers, carrying children out of burning orphanages, and saving the Earth from a disastrous comet strike. If it were only a few pages longer, it might well raise the dead."

From "A Reunion in Schenectady, NY"

"Life sure doesn't turn out the way you expected it to," said Norman. "Here I am, 39 years old, still an assistant manager at BaggaBurger, and my only social life is visiting The Hair Club for Men."

"And who would've thought that I'd have gone through three divorces by now?" added Naomi. "My husbands knew I liked to sleep around when they met me, then they expected me to change!"

"Maybe that's been the problem for all of us," said Michelle. "We haven't achieved all we could in life because we've been afraid of change."

"That used to be my problem too," said Biff. "But not since I heard the story of 'Who Cut the Cheese'.' Now I'm rolling in dough, I live in a mansion, and I'm getting all the women I want!"

"What about your wife?" asked Norman.

"As far as I know," Biff laughed, " she gets all the women she wants, too!"

From "The Story of Who Cut the Cheese?"

Each morning the rats and the teeny people would wake up, stretch, find a wall to whiz on, then begin their daylong hunt for cheese in the maze.

The rats, Snitch and Scamper, having brains which looked and functioned much like the raisinets which frequently popped out of their other ends, had to rely entirely on their instincts to find cheese.

But the teeny people, Hi and Ho, used their more complicated brains and sophisticated reasoning power to search for cheese. And for them, the cheese was more than cheese. It was Cheese with a capital "C" - representing not just food, but also a life of prosperity and happiness, much the way it does in Wisconsin.